I've just been to 12.15 Mass in St. Mary's Roman Catholic Cathedral. I'm so glad I did. Like most human beings I am a contradiction, and today I just needed to come here, to this huge concrete cathedral. Sometimes I just need to receive in places like this. And yes the setting does help. I love the enclosed space in a cathedral, this one is awesome because it stands over you as you are sat in the polished Acacia wood pews, feeling tiny. It sits over you on four huge concrete bracing struts, as if you were sat under a concrete Eiffel Tower. you can feel the weight of it but you also feel enclosed in it, within its span. A wonderful feeling. And the light is brilliant, the colour in the windows, rainbow like, tall narrow brightly coloured windows leading up to heaven. I've never seen concrete made quite so beautiful.
My heart quickened as I walked up the steps into the building, there were no thoughts of not going up to receive, only thoughts of whether or not I was good enough, whether or not I would be found out, that I'm an Anglican that is and not a Roman Catholic. I'm only ever going to be irreverent and subversive in the Church, not dishonest I hope, just not following all the rules. A short stumpy priest walked out and we stood up, all fifty or so of us. A nun, and the rest of us, a motley looking crew in this huge beautiful building. I wonder if this is what the architect intended, I'm sure it's what someone intended. There were no bells or smells, no choir, only the priest robed. The setting was simple, even here. I was emotional in the Mass, I could be, I was anonymous. It wasn't a homecoming, I'm not a Roman Catholic and some RC stuff makes me very cross, but G-d cuts through all that, all that concrete, and He crushes us with his Love - whoever we are. There is Catholic Universalism. I sum up Catholic theology as 's--t happens', that is my academic summary - sorry if it's a bit flimsy. I know other people have written some very thick books but I just haven't the time. This is why I love Roman Catholics, because they go about their lives expecting to be dealt s--t, it just happens, but knowing there is a bigger story. If I can't fix what I see is wrong aghhh..... but then of course I can't fix it - idiot, because s---t happens, doh. This is not personal stuff you understand, it is just the general crapness I see around. It's the reason we shield ourselves from it, don't go to places like Tenderloin, because the crapness is dehumanizing. Receive at the Eucharist, then I feel ok. Nooooo I can hear some of my friends say. But it's what works for me, it's why the Eucharist is so powerful to me in my own tradition - always will be, always.
My heart quickened as I walked up the steps into the building, there were no thoughts of not going up to receive, only thoughts of whether or not I was good enough, whether or not I would be found out, that I'm an Anglican that is and not a Roman Catholic. I'm only ever going to be irreverent and subversive in the Church, not dishonest I hope, just not following all the rules. A short stumpy priest walked out and we stood up, all fifty or so of us. A nun, and the rest of us, a motley looking crew in this huge beautiful building. I wonder if this is what the architect intended, I'm sure it's what someone intended. There were no bells or smells, no choir, only the priest robed. The setting was simple, even here. I was emotional in the Mass, I could be, I was anonymous. It wasn't a homecoming, I'm not a Roman Catholic and some RC stuff makes me very cross, but G-d cuts through all that, all that concrete, and He crushes us with his Love - whoever we are. There is Catholic Universalism. I sum up Catholic theology as 's--t happens', that is my academic summary - sorry if it's a bit flimsy. I know other people have written some very thick books but I just haven't the time. This is why I love Roman Catholics, because they go about their lives expecting to be dealt s--t, it just happens, but knowing there is a bigger story. If I can't fix what I see is wrong aghhh..... but then of course I can't fix it - idiot, because s---t happens, doh. This is not personal stuff you understand, it is just the general crapness I see around. It's the reason we shield ourselves from it, don't go to places like Tenderloin, because the crapness is dehumanizing. Receive at the Eucharist, then I feel ok. Nooooo I can hear some of my friends say. But it's what works for me, it's why the Eucharist is so powerful to me in my own tradition - always will be, always.